Another Reprise of My “Go Ask Daddy” Columns
Buddy: I’m an older guy, financially comfortable and retired, who after my wife of forty years died of breast cancer, decided to follow my heart and lead a gay existence. Recently I met a man almost twenty years my junior, on SS Disability because he’s HIV positive – which doesn’t bother me – and who works occasionally as a DJ at the bar where we first met. Well, we fell in love, deeply in love, and since he sleeps on his brother’s couch in the flophouse side of town and I have a roomy condo on the right side of town, he’s asked if he could move in with me which sounds great. The only problem is I learned from some of his buddies at the bar that he’s a meth head. When I confronted him with this, he admitted he had been hooked but was clean now.
After nearly a lifetime of denying who I am and now finding this beautiful guy who says he loves me, nothing means more to me than to have him with me. Do you think I’m foolish letting him move in?
Daddy: Fuck yea! I mean, what is he bringing to the table, huh? You’re the one with the condo and the money and probably a nice BMW, right? And what has he got? A disability check, some needle marks and yea, maybe a great ass. So he’s a good fuck – so, fuck him. Don’t have him move in with you! At least not until he earns your trust which means telling him to find a real job (just because he’s on Disability doesn’t mean he can’t work) and find his own place even if it’s a one room flat in somebody’s house. Then maybe in three or six months you can consider him being a roommate with benefits.
If he can’t do that much, he’s a loser looking for Easy Street – meaning you.
And if you can’t tell whether he’s still using, look for some of the telltale signs when he’s with you – in and out of bed. Profuse sweating, a Chatty Cathy mouth, jumpy behavior, no appetite, insomnia and the need to carry bottled water around like it was oxygen.
If any of this is evident, it’s not you he loves – it’s the meth. Ditch him and ditch him quick before you end up in the ditch yourself.